Wanted: Male Who Eats Vegetables

• Tweet

• Tweet

In my last post, I discussed the romantic, burgeoning stages of my relationship with my husband and the critical role that food played in our ability to overcome boundaries.  What I failed to mention is that our love of food does NOT aid in managing everyday, run-of-the-mill type challenges that can cause a spouse (in this case, me) to become manically enraged!!!!   ROAR!!!!

The specifics of the current challenge are unimportant.  But what is relevant is 1) I am extremely aggravated by the husband and 2) the immense amount of ‘red’ I see has burned a hole in the back of my retina, causing temporary blindness and severe writer’s block.  As I am ‘handicapped’ and feeling a bit vindictive, I’ve decided to use this blog piece to divulge two, separate, bone-headed moments starring my husband.

Incident #1:

I asked my husband to construct a pizza for our daughter while I was out.  Prior to my departure, I also asked him to shred a zucchini to place onto her pizza (extra potassium can’t hurt).

When I returned home, I found my daughter joyfully inhaling her pizza.  I also noted, sitting on the kitchen counter, the box grater lying next to something that looked very much like a zucchini.  Upon closer examination, I discovered it was a CUCUMBER!

When faced with two, long, green, phallic-like vegetables in the vegetable drawer, my husband couldn’t determine which was the zucchini and therefore, chose the cucumber!  Astonishing, right?  Or am I just being…mean?

Incident #2:

I asked my husband to make us a pizza (this time, I was in the house, but preoccupied with the kids).  During the pizza making procedure, I noticed my husband chopping up various vegetables to place on the pie.  I also saw him put the vegetables on the pizza.

However, it wasn’t until the pizza came out of the oven that I discovered how the vegetables were placed on the pizza!   All the vegetables were laid out on ‘my’ side of the pizza (the left) and all the pepperoni was laid out on ‘his’ side of the pizza (the right)!    Outrageous!  What is so scary about vegetables!!  Also notice how ‘my’ side of the pizza is ever so slightly smaller than ‘his’ side.

(Head Shaking in Exasperation)  Incredible.

Tags: annoying husbands, cucumber, marital challenges, men who don't eat vegetables, zucchini

Category: Featured Articles: Health & Nutrition, Health & Nutrition