Dearest Foodbuzz,

Upon reading your ‘letter,’ we here at Zomppa are, ever so slightly, disturbed.

Dejected.

Or rather…enraged.  In that Glenn-Close–goes-completely-psycho-in-Fatal-Attraction kind of way.

Prior to engaging in a relationship with you, we were hesitant, shy, and perhaps even a little dubious.  Deep down in our hearts, we considered the possibility of heartbreak, but your flirtatious taunts (‘Be The Next Foodbuzz Food Blogger!) and encouraging words fueled our fantasy.  The fantasy that one day, we would live in a symbiotic relationship with you, obtain fortune and glory and one day, end up on the cover of Vogue Magazine as the hottest group of 10 women ever to write a food blog.

So.  For three weeks, three WHOLE weeks, we gave everything we had to you.  We showed you who we are and who we could be…with you.   We made ourselves pretty for you.  We slinked outside our comfort zone for you.  We participated in your little ‘challenges’ and jumped through your silly little hoops.

We would have circled the universe for you…

And for what?  For a letter of rejection?  During this 3-week period, you did NOTHING but tell us how much you wanted us and then, BAM!?  All of the sudden, we aren’t good enough?  You get a little taste of us and then you decide we don’t suffice?  Somehow, we just don’t do it for you anymore?

In the words of William Congreve, “Heaven hath no rage like a love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”  Sadly, you not only messed with the wrong woman, but you messed with the wrong group of TEN women.

It’s on, Foodbuzz.  We hope you are prepared.  In the meantime, we leave you with a little sample of what could have been all yours.  We doubt you will ever find a replacement or anything remotely capable of fulfilling your mind, heart, soul or stomach.

Foodbuzz?  Suck it.

Love,
The Zomppas.

P.S.  Foodbuzz, if you called us, we’d pick up.  Anxiously awaiting….

Zomppa’s French Apple Tart

French Apple Tart
Slightly Adapted from Ina Garten’s recipe

Ingredients:

½  cup of unbleached all-purpose flour
½ cup + ¼ cup whole wheat pastry flour
zest of 1 lemon
½  teaspoon kosher salt
½  tablespoon sugar
6 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, diced
¼  cup ice water, plus more if necessary
2 Granny Smith apples, sliced into half-moons
Juice of ½ a lemon
¼  cup sugar
¼  cup apricot jelly

Directions:

For pastry:

In a food processor, add the flour, zest, sugar and salt.  Pulse a couple of times until flour mixture is combined.  Add the diced butter and pulse until mixture has texture of coarse corn meal.  Slowly drizzle in ¼ cup of iced water while processor is on pulse.  Stop once dough forms a solid ball.  Add more water if necessary.

Flatten to about 1 inch thick and wrap in saran wrap.  Place in refrigerator for at least an hour.

In the meantime, slice the apples into half moons.  Place in bowl and mix, gently, with the lemon juice.

After an hour, pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.

Remove the dough from refrigerator and roll out into a rectangle approximately ¼ inch thick.  Make sure your surface is covered in enough flour as you do not want your dough to stick.  Once rolled out, move the dough onto a piece of parchment paper and place on a cookie sheet.

Starting from the corner of the dough, make a row of apples on the diagonal.  Cover the rest of the dough with apples on the diagonal.    Sprinkle the apples with ¼ cup of sugar.  Place on middle rack of oven and cook for up to 45 minutes or until the apples are cooked through, juices are bubbling and crust is slightly browned.

Remove from oven and brush with apricot jelly.    Serve warm or at room temperature.

Check us out on Hearth and Soul

It is not clear whether I will be returning to the ‘office’ as I am seriously contemplating permanent residency in this extraordinary beach town.

As I sit in this blissful, vegetative, coma-like state, I am unable to think properly, much less write an intelligent, semi-interesting blog for the best readers on the planet earth.

Therefore, I leave you with photos of some caramels I made.

If you need assistance before my possible return, please feel free to reach any of the beautiful bloggers that also contribute to this website.

Sincerely,

Patty

Zomppa’s Fleur De Sel Caramel Candies

Fleur de Sel Caramel Candies
(Very slightly adapted from Ina Garten’s Recipe)

1-1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup honey, maple syrup or golden syrup
1/2 cup of water
1 cups heavy cream
5 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 teaspoon fleur de sel, plus extra for sprinkling
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Line an  8-inch brownie pan with parchment paper and coat with some vegetable or canola oil.

In a saucepan, combine sugar, honey,  and water.  Melt the sugar over medium heat, but do not stir.  If you want to mix a little, simply swirl the pot lightly over the flame.  Allow to cook for  about 5 minutes or until the mixture is a dark amber color.

In the meantime, microwave or warm on the stove top the butter, heavy cream and 1 teaspoon of fleur de sel.

Once the sugar is amber color, slowly add the warmed cream mixture to the sugar mixture – it will bubble up, so stand back.  Turn the heat to high-medium and insert your candy thermometer.

Cook until you get to firm ball (248 degrees) on the candy thermometer.   This process took me about 20 minutes, but I think it depends on how hot your store gets.

Once the mixture is at the firm ball stage, take the mixture off the heat and pour into the brownie pan.  Store in the refrigerator until the candy is firm.
Once firm, turn the candy out onto a surface.  Starting at 1 end, roll the candy up (like a swiss cake) until you have rolled half of it.  Cut the log off at the half sheet.  Sprinkle your candy with some fleur de sel.  Cut in 8 pieces and wrap in parchment paper.  Repeat with the second sheet of candy.

Check us out at Two for Tuesdays:

Long story short, the brunch was a great success.  I almost lost it a couple of times in the hours prior to the event, but I managed to pull myself together right before folks showed up.   Made Giada’s mini-frittatas, some red potato home fries, bagels with (a variation of Ina’s) vegetable cream cheese, a Maple/Blueberry sour-cream coffee cake and Ina’s star powered French Apple Tart.

Speaking of French!  It was during this brunch that found out the best news of the year!  My derrière (butt for the non-french speakers) is going to Paris, France in a few short weeks!!!!  I literally felt like ripping off my clothes and running a couple of laps around my very claustrophobic apartment!  But I managed to spare my guests the horror and simply jumped for joy like a giddy school girl (on crack).

Source:  www.top-things-to-do.com

(sigh)  I’m going to be on a high between now and the time of my trip.  Would love to hear from ya’ll about places to visit, things to eat, what to see, how I should dress (I was already told to leave my white running shoes in the U.S…..hum……I don’t own anything else?  What to do).

In the whirlwind of excitement, I decided to make some homemade pop-tarts.  Random, I know.  I took the scraps I had left from the dough I used to make the French Apple Tart.   While it certainly isn’t the most gorgeous looking pop-tart on the planet, it was a quick and delicious way to make use of scraps.  I used cherry jam, but please feel free to use whatever suits your fancy.

Bon voyage to me!  Paris, here I come!!!!!!!!

Pop Tart

‘Pop Tart’

Servings(depends on how big your pop tarts are!)

Ingredients:

Pie dough (can buy prepared, but suggest you make your own!  use this recipe!)

Cherry Jam (or whatever jam you like)

1 egg mixed with 1 teaspoon of water, mixed well

1 tablespoons of granulated sugar

Instructions:

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or silpat

Floor your board very well.  Roll your pie dough out to to 12X8.  Using a floured knife, cut the dough into mini-rectangles that are about 3X4 inches.   You should have 8 mini-rectangles – enough to make a total of 4 pop tarts.  Place about 2 tablespoons of jam in the middle of 4 of the mini-rectangles.

Then, place the jam-less rectangles on top of the jam-filled rectangles  Press the edges of the tarts with a floured fork to seal the edges.  Poke a couple of small holes on top of the tarts with your fork to allow steam to escape.

Lightly brush the tops of the tarts with the egg wash.  Then sprinkle each tart with sugar.

Place in oven for about 20-25 minutes, or until the tarts are brown along the edges and the jam has oozed out a bit!  Cool for about 5 minutes and then eat with tea!

After a week of cold downpours when the sun took a vacation, my dear friends came over for a comfort supper. They are far too kind in their accolades (which by the way, I never discourage them from dispensing), but the best part for me is when they keep going back for seconds (and thirds and fourths) and I know that they have truly enjoyed the meal I have wholeheartedly prepared for them.

As you know, I love cooking seasonally…and tis the season for apples, squashes, and root vegetables. I went searching from some recipes and got inspired. I decided to use apple as my theme and found seasonal, organic, and local ingredients, a roasting bird raised with compassion and vegetarian feed. The trick for me is that I like to prep earlier in the day (all the chopping) and put them in little bowls back in the fridge so they are easy to pull out when ready. This meal needs a bit of planning but trust me, it’s EASY. Don’t let the long list turn you away – I’m just being wordy.

Just prep ahead: start the day (or night before) by brining and then chopping things that need to be chopped. Then when you’re ready to cook, start by roasting the butternut squash for the soup FIRST. When they’re done, roast your chicken and vegetables in the oven while you make the soup on the stove top. They both come up nearly the same time and ready to be devoured.

Cider Roasted Chicken with Root Vegetables
Adapted from Je Mange la Ville and Cooking Light

Make the brine in the morning, stick it in your fridge and you can forget about it until ready to cook supper. The brine makes the chicken oh-my-gosh-juicy. The juices from the chicken give the root vegetables this unbelievable flavor and heartiness.

The brine:
3 1/2 quarts water
1/2 quart apple cider
1/4 cup kosher or sea salt
1 TB peppercorns
1 bay leaf

The chicken:
2 cups apple cider
1 3-lb roasting chicken (organic or free-range tastes great)
1 red onion, chopped in large eighths
1-2 tsp dried rosemary
2 TB butter, softened
2 cloves garlic, chopped
Olive oil
Salt
Pepper

The vegetables:
3 carrots, chopped in 2-inch chunks
6 red potatoes, quartered
1 turnip, chopped in 2-inch chunks (I’m not a big fan of turnips, it turns out. You can use parsnips or other hearty root vegetables in place)
2 shallots, quartered
10 cloves garlic (peeled, whole)

1. Put all the brining ingredients in large stockpot that is big enough for the chicken but small enough for your refrigerator.
2. Bring to boil, then cool.
3. Put rinsed chicken into brine (make sure it sits under the brine), stick in the refrigerator for about 7-8 hours.
4. Drain chicken, rinse, dry, and toss out brine.
5. Preheat oven to 375F.
6. Put chopped vegetables on bottom of oven-proof casserole or roasting pan. I used a casserole dish and a metal trivet big enough to hold the chicken just high enough over the vegetables and it worked beautifully.
7. Drizzle vegetables with olive oil, season with salt and pepper.
8. Add garlic and dried rosemary to butter and add under the skin of the chicken breast. To ensure you don’t break the skin, use one hand to pull the skin taut and using the index finger of the other, gently use a hooking motion to tear the connecting fat tissues to loosen the skin.
9. Stuff the chicken with the red onion.
10. Putting the chicken wing side up on the trivet, drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and pepper.
11. Roast for about 40 minutes (check and if need, cover loosely with aluminum foil so not to burn).
12. Meanwhile, boil apple cider and reduce to about 1/4 cup.
13. Turn chicken breast side up and drizzle the apple cider reduction and roast for another 30 minutes (thigh should be about 170)
14. When done, remove chicken from vegetables and let cool.

Your home will also smell amazing.

Roasted Butternut Squash Apple Soup
Adapted from Barefoot Contessa and ZomppaPatty

This soup freezes really well and perfect for cold days. The apples make it delectably sweet – don’t use as many apples or cider if you want it less sweet. The ginger and curry adds layers of flavors. While the squash doesn’t have to be roasted, it brings an extra depth and nuttiness that makes the soup something else. I also made some homemade croutons by simply chopping up sunflower bread and baking them in the oven until crispy and crunchy. Sunflower bread works perfectly with this soup because of the nutty saltiness.

2 medium-sized butternut squash
4 McIntosh (or other sweet cooking) apples
2 TB unsalted butter
2 TB olive oil
2 large yellow onions, chopped
2 TB curry powder
1 TB ground ginger
2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
3 cups organic chicken stock
1 cup apple cider
3 TB heavy cream
Parsley, chopped

1. Preheat oven to 350F.
2. Peel and chop squash and apple to 2-inch chunks.
3. Lay butternut squash on two foil-lined cookie sheets, drizzle with olive oil and bake for 45 minutes or until tender (fork will pierce)
4. In large stockpot, add butter, olive oil, onions, curry powder and ginger, cooking over low heat for about 20 minutes until onions are translucent. Stir.
5. When squash and onions are done, add the squash, apples, and stock to the pot. Season with salt and pepper.
6. Bring to boil, then cover and cook over low heat for about 40-45 minutes or until squash and apples are really soft.
7. Mix immersion blender while on low heat and blend. Add apple cider until it is as smooth or thick as you want it.
8. Blend some heavy cream.
9. Season with salt and pepper according to taste and garnish with parsley.

Our meal didn’t end with apples, but my friends brought over a pecan-pumpkin pie from Whole Foods baked in a graham cracker crust. It was amazing. We topped it off with some tea I had bought in Oman – it was quite heavy at the first pour, but the second in the French Press was so smooth and perfectly steeped.

What a comforting way to spend a cold rainy week. As long as you’re willing to play by these rules.

…When you have all day…
Yesterday, my friend and his housemates invited a bunch of people over to their new house for a serious, no-joke, smoked pork butt party. Following the Renowned Mr. Brown‘s method, four 3-lb. pork butts were rubbed with Southern Succor Rub (recipe below) and slow-smoked for over 10 hours at 250 degrees. Then it was pulled apart by hand.

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

I have never eaten better pork. And I’ve eaten lots of pork. It was tender, juicy, melt-in-your-mouth obscenity. It was so good, I’m drooling as I write. I mean, good as in I almost needed to excuse myself to a private room to experience this pork in ecstasy. No sauces or condiments is necessary. I HIGHLY recommend this if you have a big bbq or gathering.

Southern Succor Rub
(source: Smoke & Spice by Cheryl Alters Jamison and Bill Jamison)
1/4 cup ground black pepper
1/4 cup paprika
1/4 cup Turbinado sugar
2 Tablespoons table salt
2 teaspoons dry mustard
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Mix ingredients thoroughly. Makes enough rub for one pork butt.

…When you have no time…
Sometimes, you do not have all day to nurture a pork butt. Here are two REALLY, REALLY easy recipes with ingredients you could easily find in your pantry or refrigerator. For a potluck after work last week, I transformed what I usually make for lunch into two big party hits.

Chicken Salad Crostini
1 bone-in chicken breast (I like with skin on)
Organic mayonnaise
Green onions, chopped
Coarse salt
Pepper
Seedless grapes
Crostini

1. Preheat oven to 350F
2. Season chicken breast generously with coarse salt and pepper
3. Roast chicken for about 25-30 (skin will puff up nice and crispy)
4. Let chicken cool and then shred chicken in pieces
5. Add mayonnaise
6. Add green onions
I kid you not. That is it. I usually keep some in a Pyrex for an easy-to-prepare lunch. I’m not a huge celery fan, and this is a simple, delicious recipe perfect for any time of year. To fancy it up:
8. Put chicken salad on crostini
8. Add sliced grapes

Ham and Cheese Square
(adapted by the Barefoot Contessa’s Ham and Cheese in Puff Pastry)
1 lb black forest ham
Slices of Pepper Jack cheese
Apricot jam or marmalade
1 can buttermilk biscuit

Note: The original recipe calls for puff pastry and mustard. The buttermilk biscuit is not as puffy as puff pastry, but I only had time to go to one store and I wasn’t willing to spend $12 on the only fancy puff pastry available. So I replaced it with ready-made, all natural buttermilk biscuit. I also don’t like mustard much, and the apricot adds a lovely counter-sweetness that livens the ham.

1. Preheat to 450F
2. Roll out buttermilk biscuits to two equally-sized flat rectangles
3. Spread apricot jam on on sheets
4. Generously layer ham, then cheese, then ham to amount desired
5. Spread another layer of apricot jam
6. Cover with second pastry sheet and seal at edges
7. Bake for about 10-12 minutes until golden brown
8. Flip (it’s a bit tough, so use parchment paper to make flipping easier) and return to oven until other side is golden-brown (about 10-12 minutes)
9. Cool and cut into squares

These were a big hit and they didn’t take very long or require much prep time.

So whether you have all day or 1 hour or 10 minutes to run into the store to pick up a ready-made cake, don’t forget that what makes a party is good conversation, good energy, and good food. Plus, when everyone is eating and having a lively discussion about the most recent episode of Mad Men, they really won’t care whether your dress is making your butt look fat.

They’re too busy blissfully eating lovingly-smoked and generously-shared pork butt.

In 2006, I managed to escape work, mid-day on a rainy day, to attend an Ina Garten book signing at the local Sur la Table.  Upon my arrival, I discovered that I was not, in fact, early as there was a line wrapped around the store.  Unnerved, I stepped in line with my crisp, newly purchased Garten cookbook and absorbed the hushed, but elated discussions and escalating anticipation/excitement.

My husband constantly teases me about my infatuation with the ‘woman from the Hamptons.’  Mrs. Garten’s life/lifestyle couldn’t be more different from my own.  On each episode, I watch Garten create/serve culinary masterpieces to her high-falutin friends and neighbors from her stunning kitchen while engaging in conversation laden with words like ‘fabulous’ and  ‘gorgeous.’  As I stood in line with my soaking wet Aerosoles pumps and observed my fellow Ina Garten fans, I wondered whether they, too, experienced or acknowledged a demographic, social, or economic schism with the divine, Ina Garten???   If so, why the infatuation with her?

While many of Mrs. Garten’s recipes can miraculously turn any amateur cook into a professional, I’ve determined that it is not so much her dishes that her fans appreciate, but rather the lifestyle that she/her show embodies and sensationalizes.  Via her endless soirees for friends and family, Ina Garten demonstrates her passion for food, as well as her understanding of food’s ability to entice the palate, captivate the heart and uplift the soul.  Furthermore, Mrs. Garten seemingly balances the logistics of entertaining with a genuine elation and serenity that one (well, at least me and the other folks in line with me) might find admirable.

This post is homage to my culinary idol, Mrs. Garten.  The photo of the dish above is for Ina’s Goat Cheese Tart (http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/cda/recipe_print/0,1946,FOOD_9936_31510_RECIPE-PRINT-FULL-PAGE-FORMATTER,00.html).  I’ve made it multiple times for various events with great success.

On occasion, I find myself  wondering whether I took my ‘crazy pills’ as I am constantly repeating my “ Mama Says” retort  during mealtime.     Rationalizing with a preschooler is difficult, but I find it almost impossible/excruciatingly painful to discuss the benefits of eating green leafy vegetables. All Pai cares about is whether or not her food is ‘deyishous.’

Pai Eating Something 'Deyishous'

A lot of parents enjoy the benefits of ‘hiding’ nutritious food items in their children’s food.  Although I applaud most (non-violent) techniques that encourage children to 1) eat and 2) eat well,  my personal goal is to teach Pai that the food she SEES on her plate is not only good for her, but also ‘deyishous.’

In an attempt to achieve this goal, I finagled a Banana and Sour Cream Pancake Recipe developed by one of my favorite cooks, Ina Garten, to create a whole grain version.  A huge hit at our place and chock full of fiber, B vitamins and protein.

Whole Grain Pancakes
Adapted from Ina Garten’s Banana Sour Cream Pancake Recipe

1 1/2 cup of organic whole-wheat pastry flour ***
3 tablespoons organic cane sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
1/2 cup organic Greek non-fat yogurt (like Oikos)
3/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon organic rice milk (or any milk)
2 extra-large organic eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Pure maple syrup

Directions

Sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.  In a separate bowl, whisk together the yogurt, rice milk, eggs,  and vanilla. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ones, but only until wet is just incorporated.  Will look a bit lumpy.  Don’t’ over mix!

Heat a (non stick) skillet over medium-low heat.  You can add a little bit of vegetable oil to lubricate the skillet. Pour the pancake batter into the pan to make 3/4 pancakes. Cook for 2 to 3 minutes.  Flip the pancakes and then cook for another minute. Serve with fresh, organic raspberries/blueberries and maple syrup.

*** If you want a lighter, more tender pancake, you can do 3/4 cup unbleached, all purpose flour and 3/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour.